From Fried To Fresh From Fried To Fresh From Fried To Fresh From Fried To Fresh From Fried To Fresh

Friday, January 18, 2013

From the outside looking in..........

It seems for most of my adult life, my eating has been on a roller coaster ride. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and I have tried just about every diet/fad there was with no success. It wasn't until last year that I discovered I am an emotional eater. For many reasons, I cover the problem up with food. Has it worked for me? Absolutely NOT!!!! I am just as fat today as I was last year, two years ago, three years ago..............

What has been positive, I have worked with a therapist to help take control over my eating and become more aware of what I am putting in my mouth. Is that working? Not exactly. I have allowed my home situation to control my eating and I have realized how out of control I am. I literally want to lock myself in the closet and eat till I puke. Not the healthiest or smartest way to deal with my problem. So, now I have hit rock bottom so to speak. I have realized things are unraveling around me and I am doing nothing to fix it. Time to make a change.

With all the wonderful resources I have, I still don't understand just exactly why cant I make it click in my thick head. Am I afraid of failure? Possibly. I have been successful at everything I have done and wanted in life EXCEPT for being THIN. I have made a promise to myself and my son, I will no longer let food control my life. I AM OUT OF CONTROL.

Whats it going to take? Me putting on some God awful spandex biking shorts and a sports bra, taking a picture and posting it on here? That just might do the trick, but I am afraid that one of my smelly 7th graders might stumble across it and harass me in class. I plan on waking up in the morning and weighing myself, taking measurements, pictures, creating a food menu, going to the store and getting my life back on track.

I am also going to do something for myself DAILY. I am too focused on my family and don't spend enough time focusing on myself. All of thats about to change.

Its going to be an uphill climb, but I am willing to take it.

SWL

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